Procter & Gamble helps empower women by providing safe drinking water to those in need

Probably the most surprising thing about becoming a mom for me is the Mom Guilt.  And last week was harder than normal.

Procter & Gamble helps empower women by providing safe drinking water to those in need

Procter & Gamble helps empower women by providing safe drinking water to those in need

Procter & Gamble helps empower women by providing safe drinking water to those in need

Procter & Gamble helps empower women by providing safe drinking water to those in need

Procter & Gamble helps empower women by providing safe drinking water to those in need

When Knox was born I was working 60+ hour weeks at the largest start-up in New York City (Gilt Groupe) and blogging at night and on the weekends.  My parents instilled a hard work ethic in all three of us (I have an older sister and a younger brother) through example, but also by making sure we all had chores growing up and a job as soon as we had a car.

When I had Knox, I knew I couldn’t add being a mom to my crazy schedule, it was very clear something had to give.  For our family, it was an easy choice because it was so important to me to be a present mom and to play an active role in raising our children.  But it was also very easy for us because we had a rare circumstance where the financial impact of me staying home could be the same as me going back to work and paying for a nanny.  I had built HOUSE of HARPER over the years and by 2013 when Knox was born it was paying off financially.  So the choice was clear for us that I would stay home and run HOUSE of HARPER full time.

Because I was so used to working nights and weekends from working at Gilt, it didn’t bother me to continue this schedule after we had Knox.  In fact, it actually got easier in the beginning.  Knox was such a happy baby and a really good sleeper so I could respond to an email while he entertained himself on the playmat for a few minutes or get a blog post live during his morning nap.  I had an adorable babysitter that would come one morning a week so I could get out of the house for meetings, photoshoots, etc.  We had a groove and I loved that I was balancing both, for the most part.

Without boring you with too many of the details, when we moved to Texas and Knox dropped his morning nap, I knew I needed more help.  We found a wonderful nanny in our new neighborhood for a few mornings a week (9-12 and then Knox would nap until around 2) and then Knox started a Mother’s Day out two mornings a week the following fall.  After some time adjusting to having some help and accepting that I couldn’t do it all, I found myself comfortable with our situation again.

Fast forward to having Andrew and I lost my groove, again. (Remember this post?)  I needed more help to keep all the balls in the air.  We asked our nanny to take on the additional mornings during the week when Knox was at school so I could have more help with Andrew.  I struggled with this decision because (other than a babysitter a few hours a week) Knox was home with me until he was 18 months old, but Andrew had a nanny in his life since he was born.  But over time, I accepted our situation and became at peace with it.  She loves our boys, exposes them to Spanish and has become part of our family.  I was back on top of the rollercoaster of my ‘mom guilt’ and feeling like everything was going to be okay.

Enter 2017.  This year was going to be a year of playing catch up, getting settled and enjoying life.  We don’t have any major life changes planned (we aren’t moving across the country, buying or renovating our house, having a baby, etc.).  I wanted to continue to grow my business and soak up every moment with our precious boys.  But life happened and my business got AUDITED.

We finally have it all behind us now, but the past three months meant a lot of overtime for our nanny while I was organizing receipts, printing contracts, filing statements, requesting cancelled checks, searching for old travel documents, YOU NAME IT!  It was honestly the most taxing (ha, ha) experience of my adult life.  But, I learned a lot and I will be sharing it with you so you can be more organized than I was incase you ever find yourself in that (dreaded) situation.  I know now how to stay organized each quarter so if it ever happens again I can just hand them my documents and say, “Have fun with this!” ha!

If you are still reading this (I’m impressed), my point in all this rambling is that I feel like I haven’t been as present with our kids lately as I would like to be, and it has brought on a lot of pressure and guilt.  If you follow my Instagram stories you saw how hard it was on me to leave them for a conference this weekend.  I literally got in the car and cried, almost turned around and called my husband and my mom.  They both convinced me that the boys would be fine for the night and told me I needed to go.  Once I made it to Dallas, sat down for dinner with friends (and had a margarita), I felt a little better, but it was the accumulation of everything and I had hit a wall.

Before closing, I should note that I certainly don’t always feel this way.  There are some days that I feel like Super Woman mastering the balancing act of working and parenting, but with the recent overtime and travel (Dallas x 3, New York, Austin and Corsicana… all in the last month!), I am having a moment and thought I could learn from you if I simply shared.

After sharing with you on InstaStories this weekend, I thought it would be helpful to give you a little background and to crowd source some advice.  I know this is something most moms struggle with whether you stay at home, but need to find time for household chores, errands, and just staying engaged by the end of a long day or if you are a full-time working mom that wants to make the best out of the evening hours, but are exhausted from a full day’s work.

What tips do you have for all of us? How do you handle the stress, the pressure, the guilt?!  How do you balance your time?  What has been the best piece of advice you have received?  I want to hear it all and can’t wait to read your comments!

As always, thanks for listening and stopping by!