Since having Andrew, I often get asked the simple question, “How is having two?”. It’s a hard question to answer in passing with friends because there is SO much I could say. For starters…
My heart has never been more full. It is amazing how it can literally grow with each child. Just when you think you could never love someone else as much, you do. And then, you see your children interact with each other and your heart swells again. Watching Knox get so excited when Andrew hits the tiniest milestone (like opening his eyes after sleeping most the days away in the beginning) gets me so excited for them to have a built-in best friend, cheerleader and brother to walk through life with. I have a sister who is two years older than me and I can tell you first hand, there isn’t anything better than knowing you always have someone to count on, no matter what.
But just when I think they have this brother thing down, Knox has a moment of jealousy and tells Andrew to get back in my belly or ask him”What you doin in my house?” And those were some of the cuter sibling rivalry moments. The not-so-cute-ones are when Knox has a full on melt down wanting me to hold him and to put baby Drew down. (This usually happens when Andrew is hungry, and I am nursing him so it isn’t possible for me to fulfill his request.) Or when Knox decided to ‘tickle’ Andrew’s forehead and leave claw marks behind. Twice. In these moments, I get a small glimpse of the ups and downs of what our future will be raising two boys so close in age. (And I call Fred tired and frustrated asking him when he will be able to make it home from work.)
And then there is the balancing (or trying to balance) act of adding another (precious) responsibility to our day-to-day. I was starting to feel like I had things figured out with Knox (as much as you possibly can ever feel this way). I was confident in my abilities as a mom, we were getting settled in our home, Houston doesn’t feel new anymore, and we found a school and nanny we love to help with Knox in the morning so I can get some work done, but still spend the afternoons with my family. (Knox goes to a ‘mother’s day out’ two mornings a week and we have a nanny three mornings a week). I loved our slow morning snuggles and breakfast in bed until it was time to get our day started. I loved having something outside of my family that I am passionate about and that gives me purpose. I love that I can still work in the industry I love while helping to provide for my family. But most of all, I loved getting to spend the majority of my day with my family. Of course, my to-do list and inbox was always overflowing and there were things on there that will honestly never get done, but over all I felt like I was getting by okay.
Fast forward two months in to being a mom of two, I can’t say the same. I am confident I will find that balance again, but now we are still taking it day by day. Andrew is still nursing every 3 hours (on average) so I am still pretty exhausted in the mornings. He is such an easy and happy baby that I am able to get things accomplished while he plays or naps, but those little windows between feedings aren’t the most productive when you are still changing diapers, retrieving dropped pacifiers, and getting in all the snuggles you both need. I am sharing this today because so many people have commented, emailed or asked in person how I am doing it. They say I make it look so easy. Well, here is my honest answer to that…
It is my job to make it look easy. People don’t come to HOUSE of HARPER to see a messy house or dark circles under my eyes when I have been up all night with a newborn. (But I can assure you they both exist.) So, my house is always the cleanest on days I am shooting new content and that’s what concealer and sunglasses are for. I created this space to be a place of inspiration so I usually stick to the good and edit out the bad and the ugly. But hopefully today (if you made it this far down), you can find some inspiration in knowing things aren’t always perfect, but I don’t expect them to be. And I certainly don’t accomplish what I am able to accomplish alone. I slowly realized after having Knox that it is okay to ask for help. I get by with the village I am blessed to have around me (because it does take a village, at all times). My husband, FMK, is hands-on and is a huge help when he isn’t working. My MIL is just a phone call away when things pop up at work or if one of the kids is sick. I know Knox is in good hands for four hours each morning so I can focus on Andrew and getting a blog post live (on a good day). And my family is just a car ride away and they are always willing to make a trip to see us. (My mom tagged along with me and Drew this weekend for Create & Cultivate Dallas so I could take part on the ‘Art of the Pitch’ panel. Since I am still nursing, she brought Drew so I could sneak away for feedings every few hours.)
After a weekend full of inspiration and an opportunity that wouldn’t have been possible without the support of my family, I thought it was the perfect time to share a little glimpse behind the pretty pictures. Thanks for taking the time to share our journey through HoH. I love reading your comments and connecting with you all!
Outfit details: top: Kate Spade | pants: ASOS | shoes: Steve Madden | handbag: Celine (available in stores) | ring: David Yurman | sunglasses: celine | bracelets: Brandy Pham, J.Crew, Rebecca Minkoff | lipstick: Nars | Stroller: c/0 Bugaboo
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